Singer, actress, fashion designer, entrepreneur, writer, and mom of two Thalía shares her parenting, lifestyle, fashion, and beauty tips as a POPSUGAR Latina contributor.
The Most Life-Changing Lessons My Mom Gave Me
Every year, during the month of May, I become very nostalgic and full of emotion. May is a beautiful month: Summer is near, the flowers are in full bloom, and the sun shines for a longer period of time. It is also the month in which I reflect on all of the lessons I learned from my amazing, beautiful mother, and I wanted to share them with you.
1. Moms are warriors.
I get extremely emotional whenever I remember that I had the great opportunity to have a tough warrior for a mother! Yes, she fought against all odds to raise her daughters after the death of my dad when I was a child. She would stand up tall after every fall and setback and instilled in all of us the importance of self-confidence, hard work, education, preparation, and courage.
The most important thing she wanted us to learn was to be confident and trust ourselves. She wanted us to face all tough situations with strength and aplomb and made us understand that we could accomplish anything we set our minds to in any circumstance, and against anyone. And if, by any chance, what we wanted to accomplish could not be realized, she used to say: "Pack your bags, close and lock the doors of your home, and travel to a place in the world where you will flourish and you will be understood."
2. When you become a mom, you'll respect your mother even more.
Even if it sounds cliché, it is true that when you become a mother, you suddenly understand all of those things that your own mom told you. Many years had to pass in order for me to become a mother and comprehend the magnitude of what unconditional love is. Us children tend to be selfish and only look at our side of the story without putting ourselves in the place of the person with more experience, our mother.
Now that I am going through similar experiences with my children, it is easier for me to realize and remember my careless attitude and all of the uncomfortable situations I caused because of being so impatient, wanting to get my point across above all else, and expecting to do things my way thinking that my mother did not understand me. Becoming a mother has made me better understand my mom's lessons, and I strive to be more patient, loving, and delicate with my kids.
3. Mother's Day is an all-year thing!
Mothers are to be celebrated, not only during the month of May, but all year long. Our time on this planet is very short and we do not know when we will be departing or who will depart next. Therefore, I believe it is of utmost importance to celebrate, often, all of those people who we love and to be completely present while doing so. Cancel your appointments, put your telephone away, ignore all distractions, and focus on that special person who carried us in her belly until we were born.
There should not be only one specific day to be grateful; be grateful every day! A compliment, a card or letter, a flower, a conversation to reminisce about happy childhood memories, all reinforce the ties with our mother and show her how much we love her. Find time to take her out to lunch or dinner, and celebrate whenever you find a moment to do so. Oftentimes relationships between mother and children are complicated, but that is precisely why it is a good idea to try to heal the wounds and work on strengthening the bond with our moms.
4. Forgetting the past brings you closer.
In order to mend difficult relationships with our parents, in this case our mothers, I find it necessary to work out all of those issues that we carry in our hearts from childhood. There were times when we were children when we felt misunderstood, disrespected, ignored, or not supported. But I found it transformative to understand that mothers try to do our best with the tools we have and the information that we are given. That is why we have to have compassion with ourselves, with the child within us, and learn to forgive and let go of the past in order to forge healthy relationships between mother and child. There is something so liberating about letting go of the past! Move forward, and create new memories with those you love.
5. It's all about the little things in life.
My most memorable moments with my mother were when we could not stop laughing. We used to laugh so hard together that our bellies would hurt and tears would come out of our eyes. It was lovely to see my mom's smile and to hear her laugh. I cherish those moments when we read jokes to each other and watched comedies on TV or at the movies. Keeping things fun and light helped my relationship with my mother a lot.
Once I had my first child, I realized that mothers sometimes feel guilty about the choices we make when raising our kids. It does not matter how small those things are, we always find something to feel guilty about. That is why it is key to let our mothers know that we love them and make their lives more enjoyable. Enjoying the simple things in life with them will really help! Take your mother to eat ice cream, invite her to the movies, or take her out for margaritas. There are so many things we can do to spend time with our mothers and have fun and laugh together! You will never forget those wonderful happy times.
The bottom line is you should appreciate your mother. Celebrate her every day, because life is too short and unexpected. Accept her flaws and focus on the positive; the love of a mom is pure and unconditional. Find ways to spoil your mom and make her laugh. You will always remember those moments with a smile on your face.